I Know It's Over Pt. 2

ok.
here we are.






"I know it's over, before it really began, but in my heart it was so real."
"Loud loutish lover treat her kindly, though she needs you more then she loves you."
well, who am I to make those calls.


Although I can say;
You Blew It!(non sarcastically)
and
Great Job!(sarcastically)
because I can say whatever I want.



Goddamnit, did I do this to myself?
Did I really?
Too much too soon.

So this is officially the most depressing blog ever.
and that gives you an idea of how I fuckin live.
for some damn reason, for some fucking obscure completely outta leftfield "Go-ahead-and-fuck-my-day-up" reason life went from being reletivley ok to BAM! big fuckin train wreck.
Oh women, they'll always be my downfall.
My beast of burden.
I could quote old poems,
"Lecher though one is, or aspires to be, it occurs to me that the lot of girls is not easy."
or I could quote modern rap songs
"a bitch is a bitch."
or I could do nothing and keep my mouth shut.


wonderful.
goddamnit.

I've takin up smoking because I don't care and I wanna look cool.
Big deal I'm still aloneeee
at least there cool cigarettes.


Oh Johnny, where'd you go?

I have this image in my head of my happiness compared to my success.
I feel that I will always be more sucessful then I will be happy, and they will never eclipse so (if anyone wants to paint this for me, go ahead)
the image is sorta of Dali-esque
you know
this guy



so its of a guy with hoooks through his skin that are attached to big balloons being lifted above the ocean, the balloons represent my success and the man is my happiness, theres nothing he can do about it, yeah sure it's saving his life but he'll always just be trailing behind it, he's thankful of it, but it isn't the most comfortable experience.

dandy.

It truly amazed me how quickly I was cut outta her/your life.
goddamn.
I mean I know I asked for it, but there was no second thought.
Maybe you're too literal
maybe I'm just an asshole.
maybe I way over thought things.
maybe you just told me what I wanted to hear.
maybe I'm taking this all too seriously.
but not talking to you for 3 weeks(save for the occasional txt msg) sure does leave a lot up in the air.
Believe me honey, I wasn't asking for anything except a friend who'd never leave.
However, as we all know, You can't always get what you want.
infact
you rarely ever get what you want.
and if you try sometimes, you just might find
that it doesn't pay to try.
Ever.
Right?




ah well.
Shit happens.
Yeah, play it stoic, everyone believes you.
Jesus this is all like a fucked up Patrick Marber peice.
a lot of yelling.
a lot of heartaches.
a lot of drugs.
Well for me anway.





"Love is natural and real, but not for such as you and I my love."
Who knows maybe I'm overly dramatic and just can't seem to deal.
I wouldn't know
I wouldn't care either.



So next week and the week after that are my show.
And I'm in the reader.
and was on some radio thing.
Mentioned by name as a young actor to watch.
Well, it's not all dark rooms and bloody noses.
There's some hope out there.
And those day's will come again,
just not for me.